Dwelling

As I was working today a familiar verse, Psalm 91:1, came to mind.  It says, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty".  I have read this verse many times, of course, but today my spirit was drawn to two words that I had not thought much about before, "dwells" and "shadow".  What does it mean to "dwell" in the shelter of the Most High?  The dictionary definition is, "to live or stay as a permanent resident".  What better place to reside than in the God's shelter, and thereby rest in His shadow.  In this place of shelter and rest I find my peace.  Though the world around me is in turmoil I can have peace when I am in His shelter.

Saddened

The news of the day (Osama bin Laden's assassination) and the reaction to it sit upon me like an anchor.  I am grieved by the glee displayed not only by unbelievers, but also brothers and sisters in the faith.  It has caused me to think, "How must the Father feel about this?"  Of course, His heart must broken that one of His beloved sons has passed onto eternity without (presumably) receiving the gift of Jesus blood.

"He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."  2 Peter 3:9b

If we have hate in our hearts how are we any different than Osama?  According to Scripture we have committed murder too.

Jesus said,  "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you"  Luke 6:27

"Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord."  Romans 12:19

Brothers and sisters, our kingdom is not of this world!  Osama bin Laden was just as much a beautiful creation of God as you or I.  We have NO right to determine that someone else's life should end.  Did this murder prove anything other than that we were out for vengeance?  Who do you think won in this?  Of course, the only one who won was the enemy of our souls.  He must be absolutely giddy that not only was he able to claim a soul for himself, but supposed followers of Jesus are reveling in this outcome.

I do not swear allegiance to any earthly kingdom, but rather I am looking for heavenly kingdom.  Don't say that I am ungrateful for the "freedoms" that I enjoy in this country.  I am, but I would rather trade it all for a country filled with believers who are passionate for the kingdom of God, who are willing to suffer to the point of death for the name of Jesus.

A sinner saved by grace

Light & Salt ??

Two months ago I returned to a work environment that I had not been a part of for 6 years.  I re-entered the world of a metal fabrication shop.  This job change was brought on by necessity and is not expected to last much longer, but during my time there I have had time to reflect on what it means to be salt and light in a lost and dying world.

I knew before returning to the shop that it would be a bit of a shock to me because it had been so long since I had listened to the steady diet of profanity, vulgarity, and general roughness that goes on in that sort of workplace.  However, as I have worked alongside these men who are lost and hurting I have become deeply ashamed of the witness that so many "Christians" that have come in contact with these men.  I have heard countless times, "if that is what it means to be a Christian, no thanks!", or some other variation of this statement.  Also, the word "hypocrite" has been used many times to describe believers who do not act in a Christ-like manner.

I have observed that much of this poor view of Christians is brought about by mistreatment at the hands of so-called believers.  How sad that the lost cannot say, "Wow, he treated me with compassion!  I see that Jesus has made a difference in my life."

This time has caused me to evaluate how I act and realize that I am being watched closely to see if I am just another "hypocrite".  Do I treat the "slow guy" in the shop with compassion?  Do I try to help him instead of joining in with the others in tearing him down?  Do I make sure that I always speak with openness and honesty?  Admittedly, I do not always hit the mark, but thankfully there is grace anew each day.

Pray for me that I might be salt and light, and that I might act with Christ's love.

Grief

Today marks the 6th anniversary of Alaina's birth and Saturday will be 6 years since her passage to the Father's arms.  I have been surprised in the 9 months since we have returned to the States from Nicaragua that there is still a lot of pain in my heart from our loss.  I guess that I thought I had "dealt with all of that", but I believe that I had suppressed the pain to enable me to move on with the activities of life.

In any case, here we are remembering once again what was and what might have been.  I find myself thinking of what it would be like to have a 6 year old girl in our family.  I think of how painful it was to let her go.  And I think of the bittersweetness of knowing that she is in everlasting joy with Abba Father.  I suppose I am even a bit envious that she is there and I am still here struggling through life.

I know that this experience was for a purpose and I appreciate that I can now share in the pain that others around me are experiencing, but...

I miss you little blondie and can't wait to see you in heaven!

Te quiero mucho mi chelita linda!  Se que estas en la presencia de nuestro Papa y espero estar contigo pronto!

Ugly materialism

One of my big struggles during this time of "re-entry" into the reality of America today is to not be super-critical of the rampant materialism that surrounds us.

Entering this Christmas season has taken it to new levels.

I feel nauseous when I see everyone clambering to buy more stuff that don't need, bigger televisions, newer cars, new toys, more clothes, etc. The overwhelming advertising of more things is disgusting, and of course, we "must have" all of these things for our happiness.

Contrast this rush to spend money that most of us can't afford to spend on things that we do not need, with the condition of many of our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world, and, perhaps, even here in our country.

Millions of people go hungry in the world each day while we indulge ourselves. Small groups of believers meet in the elements or rickety structures while we spend millions of dollars to make Taj Mahal-like structures so that we can "worship" in comfort. We insist that we need ridiculously large houses while many in the world would be happy to have a roof over their heads that would keep them dry.

One would expect this type of behavior from the unbeliever. After all, if I am not a follower of Christ what motivation do I have to care for my fellowman. I would expect to be as selfish as possible and spend all that I have on my own desires.

Sadly all this behavior that I have described is just as common among believers as non-believers. How is it possible that we live in luxury while many people in the world don't even have access to basic necessities?

Recently I began reading Ron Sider's "The Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience", which speaks of this subject with great clarity. He states that if the church would take tithing seriously there would statistically be enough extra money available to "solve" world hunger. Obviously an oversimplification, but the point being that we are so self-indulgent that we can't even give a full tithe.

However, as I pondered this more I realized that there is another problem with this logic. The assumption of Sider is that if we gave the tithe to the church it would be used to help our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world. Unfortunately I think that it is far more likely that we would simply surround ourselves with more opulent church buildings and other things that we convince ourselves we must have.

The early church should challenge us today in how we act toward each other. Acts 4:34-35 says, "There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need."

That, my friends is love for others, self-sacrificial love, putting the well-being of the needy ahead of my own comfort and security.

Humility

Once again a long time has passed since I last wrote. A lot has happened in that time, and as always God continues to teach me things about myself. Some of them have not been easy or pleasant, but I know that He is always working to mold me into a useful vessel.

When we returned to the US from Nicaragua in July our plan was to spend 2 months here and go back to our home in Nicaragua. However, during the 2 month time period we were slowly convinced that we needed more time here to work on some unresolved issues. We also realized that we needed some time to rest.

One morning, as I was going about my work and wrestling with the decision to stay here longer than what we had planned, God made it very clear to me that to return to Nicaragua right away would be a foolish and selfish decision. We obviously needed time to rest, process, heal, seek restoration in relationships, etc. To place "ministry" above those needs would be detrimental to my families well-being and would not be God honoring.

Now this sounds like an easy decision, right? Well, for me it was not. I HATE to disappoint people! All of our friends in Nica are waiting for us to return. Our family and friends here are expecting us to go and follow this dream. How can we not go when we said that we would? God said, "Eat some humble pie and admit to everyone that you are not ready to go just yet". Ouch! I don't want to admit to anyone that my life is not perfect and that we don't have it all together. I don't want anyone to think that we are not going to follow through with what we said we would do. I don't want to change the plan.

This has been a hard, but freeing lesson for me. I have realized how often in the past I would continue on a course of action, to my or my families detriment, simply because it was expected of me and I didn't want anyone to say or think anything. That is a terrible place to live and I don't want to live there any longer.

Yes, it is hard to say that we are having to put our plans on hold for a year to seek some healing in our lives. But at the same time I know in my heart that it is the right thing and I am freed by walking in humility.

We will return to our beloved Nicaragua when we are ready. I hope that it is soon because I miss it so, but in the meantime I will wait patiently.

Jump off a cliff...

It has been a long time since I have written any kind of reflection and, frankly, I went through a sort of dry spell for a while where I felt like God was not saying much. Recently however the lid has been blown off of all of that and God is asking me to take some steps that feel like stepping off of a cliff.

Coming from my North American cultural upbringing I have it ingrained in me to never attempt something without first having a good idea of the outcome, especially when it comes to our finances. Living here in Nicaragua I have been constantly challenged to see the Nicas trusting God with their finances because they do not have the savings accounts, investments, etc. Their faith, when it comes to trusting God to provide for their physical needs, is in a whole different league from my own faith.

Why might it be that they trust God so much more to provide for their needs? Probably because they do not have all of the "safety nets" that we always have behind us in North America. We are always encouraged to "save for the rainy day" and buy insurance for every possible eventuality that we can imagine. When we have all of these things in place what do really need God for anyway? I always have my own means to resolve any problem that might present itself.

I have become fully convinced that until I take a leap of faith in regards to my finances, and stop relying "on my own understanding", I will NEVER grow in my faith. If I really believe that God will take care of me then I need to live that way and stop trying to set it up so that there is no room for him to work.

I know that God is calling us, as Abraham, to step out into the unknown. Admittedly, the "play it safe" side of me wants to resist this idea, but I am learning to give my fears to God and am excited to see what God has in store for us.

So if in the near future you hear that we are doing something that seems sort of crazy be sure that we have "jumped off the cliff" and are growing in our faith as we see God provide for us. It is an exciting prospect to give EVERY ASPECT of our lives over to our Loving Father.

Holiness

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

Over the course of the past year God has been convicting us to be more vigilant about what we read, watch and listen to. He has impressed on us that everything that enters our mind/spirit feeds us. This food can either be healthy, nurturing, up building food, or it is poison. There really is no middle ground. If something we are reading, watching, or listening to is not building and feeding our spirit it is poisoning us and many times opening doors for the enemy to work in our lives.

For many years we had been blind to this truth. Of course, we stayed away from the really obviously demonic, but we allowed the world and the lukewarm members of the body to convince us that there really was no danger. “That is a really good movie. What does it matter if there is nudity, infidelity, or graphic violence? I know that those things are wrong but watching them is not going to cause me to go out and do the same.” Or, “I’ve been working hard and I’m exhausted so I just want to relax and enjoy a show or a steamy romance novel. I don’t agree with the values that they portray, but there really is no harm.”

We would like to kid ourselves and think that we can partake of the things of the world and they will not affect us, but the Word tells us in I Corinthians 5:6b that, “… a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough”. Also, “… or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14b) If we are filling our spirits/minds with darkness there is no room for light. I John 1:5, 6 says, “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.”

Admittedly, it is often not easy, but we must die daily to our fleshly desires. I have been a fan of “The Simpsons” and “The Office” for a long time, but if I am really honest I would say that neither of those shows builds my spirit. To the contrary, they either blatantly or subtly portray violence, foul language, infidelity, sexual relations outside of marriage, and various other themes that are contrary to my beliefs and principles. If I spend time filling my mind with those things it is certain that I did not spend that time feeding my spirit, and it is also likely that I have opened doors for the enemy to build strongholds in my life.

The path to holy living is littered with temptations and detours. Sadly, it appears that most Christians today have given in to the deceitful lies of the enemy and instead of standing with each other against the devil we try to convince each other that there really is no harm in these activities.

A couple years ago I had the opportunity to spend the evening with a group of students from a prominent Mennonite College. After we had finished eating our dinner I was shocked and dismayed when almost the entire group (and the professor) went out onto the dance floor at the restaurant (when the restaurant was chosen we had no idea that there would be music and dancing in the evening) and joined the other patrons in an hour of gyrations. I ask myself, “What is the ultimate purpose of this type of dancing?” It is to provoke sexual excitement, period! The same goes for books with detailed descriptions of love scenes, movies with sex scenes, etc.

If we are taking part in these activities and filling our minds with garbage, how are we ANY different from the world? We are meant to be “light on a hill”. If we treat sex as casually and cheaply as the world, how will they know it is something beautiful, sacred and mysterious? The Bible tells us to keep the marriage bed pure and honorable. This cannot happen when we bring somebody else (images from a book or movie) into our marriage bed. How do we expect to have a pure and holy relationship with our spouse with these images in our minds?

In 2 Cor. 6:17 Paul quotes Is. 52:11 when he says, “Therefore come out from them and be separate.”

Dear friends, lets stand together and exhort each other to holy living. Let’s not be afraid to speak up and say, “I don’t think we should be watching this, listening to this, reading this, joking about this, or talking about this.” I distinctly remember a couple years ago when a brother wanted to share that his daughter appeared in a picture with a sports star, but he warned that on the same website it was possible to encounter some images of cheerleaders. I really appreciated his message to everyone (especially the men) that we need to be careful what type of images we are viewing. We need more of that type of courage to stand up for what is right.

I am praying for revival in the church, but if we want to hear God’s voice and see his power displayed in our lives we need to remove the darkness and not allow the devil a foothold in our lives. I imagine being able to meet with my brothers and sisters and share together (with as much excitement as we talk about sports) about what God’s been doing in our lives

Pray for me that I might be able to choose holiness and stand against the devil’s schemes.

Your brother in the fight.

The Battle

Recently I have been reminded, again, that the enemy is relentless in his schemes to destroy us. The church that we had previously attended here is currently embroiled in problems with the pastor (again!). They are having serious marital issues and of course this is causing all kinds of stress and discouragement for the congregation.

As we have learned even more about the dysfunctional nature of marriages here in Nicaragua I have become more and more convinced that the enemy does not work in the same way in all parts of the world. It appears that here in Nicaragua he focuses on destroying the family unit and therefore destroy the message of Christ to a lost world. Infidelity is the norm, a sensual way of dress the custom, and lack of trust for one's spouse to be expected.

The solution is war! Out-and-out war in the heavenly realms. I have committed to come against the schemes of the devil. Enough apathy! It is time we realize that the fight that we have with our spouse, the disagreement in the church, or our clash with our co-worker is not really about a struggle with "flesh and blood", but rather is a fight in the spiritual realm.

What are we here for?

Psalm 82:3-4: Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

James 2:15-16: Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?

James 4:2b-3: You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

These verses and countless others in the Old and New Testaments challenge my worldview and beliefs about money and my purpose here on earth. My number one purpose is for relationship with the Father. Judging by how many times the Bible talks about caring for the widows, orphans, poor, weak and oppressed I would have to say that these people groups are close to God's heart and should be high on my list of priorities. Accordingly, God has laid a burden on my heart for this sector of society.

Recently, through a variety of methods, God has been revealing to me that many of my (and societies) views of money and comfort are incredibly selfish and self-centered. James states it very well when he says that we ask to spend on our own desires. How true!

What do we do when we get that raise, Christmas bonus, tax refund, or inheritance? We go buy the nicer car, bigger house, new TV, new toy, etc. Recently I read that John Wesley determined early in life what amount of money he needed to live and promised that anything that he earned above that amount he would give away to the poor. When he made that pact he did not earn much more than the determined amount, but by the time of his death he was earning 50 times that amount and was giving all of the extra away. He also said that if he died with more than 10 British pounds in his possession he would consider that he had stolen that money from someone in need.

How about it? How often do we decide that our car isn't good enough, our house is too small or old, our clothes are out of style, or dare I say it, our church building is inadequate? Meanwhile, a majority of the world's population is living hand to mouth with barely enough food to survive or decent clothes to wear. In the communities where we work the houses are tiny and often made of sticks and mud with black plastic as a roof. One woman in particular, whose house is about 10' wide by 20' long is always welcoming people to sleep in her house. I know that at least on one occasion 14 people spent the night in that tiny house. How many of us think that our 3 bedroom homes are too small, when more than likely our living rooms are larger than this woman's house?

These recent revelations have challenged me to re-evaluate all of my desires and plans. I still struggle with knowing when to give, how to really help someone, and knowing what is excess. This will likely be a struggle for the rest of my life, but I am content to know that God is still working on me.

Passion

As usual I really enjoyed worshipping together with other believers yesterday. The worship was quite powerful and the message very pointed. The brother spoke from I Corinthians where it says that when we meet together everyone should have something to share, and thus edify the body of Christ. However, he went a direction that I did not expect. He said that for that to be possible we must be spending that time investing in our relationship with God. If not, we will not have anything to share when we meet together. He went on to speak about the importance of our time spent with God, passion for God, reading the Word, and praying. This is an area where I have made progress in the last months, but still lack much in the way of discipline, especially when it comes to prayer. I have really enjoyed reading the Word; it has come alive for me.
As another preacher said recently, "If we don't have passion for God, we will not have passion for the lost." How true. It is very humbly to take an honest look at myself and realize where my passions lie. Too often I am more passionate about things other than my relationship with God. Where do put my energies and what do I spend my time thinking about?
Think about it!

Faith

I think that, perhaps, in a previous blog I have written about faith, but it has been on my heart again recently, so here goes. It has been revealed to me, once again, that having faith and trusting God is an incredibly freeing thing. This has been on my mind as we look toward the future, after we end our term here with MCC in July 2010. My human, westernized, inclination is to try to “figure it all out”. What am I going to do, how are we going to make a living, etc. However, I have heard very clearly from the Lord, a couple of times, that he is asking me to trust him. The amazing part to me is that, instead of feeling more stressed about not knowing how things are going to work, I feel free. I know that He has an incredible plan for my life and I know that all the resources in the world are his. Why in the world would I have any reason to doubt that he will take care of us? I am excited to see what it is exactly that he has in store for us, but I am at peace waiting on his timing.

Que el Señor les bendiga grandemente!

Another lesson in rights

Just when I think that I have a good perspective on the things that are "mine" God sends another test my way to see just how tightly I am holding onto my possessions. On Saturday, as I was enjoying an hour away eating breakfast with my lovely wife, the jeep was broken into and the radio and a set of sockets were stolen. This happened on a busy street with lots of foot traffic. I never even dreamed that something like that would happen in that location. Anyhow, as in the past when various other small things have been expropriated, I was challenged, once again, to realize that all of the "things" that I like to think are mine, are really God's things. I can quickly judge just how tightly I am holding onto those things by my reaction when I found out that they have been taken. Do I rejoice or am I infuriated that someone would dare to do such a thing? Well, I wouldn't say that I rejoiced, but am happy to say that I have found that I can have peace even in such circumstances.
Here is the rest of the story: We had parked almost directly in front of an internet cafe where a friend works. We went in and said hi then walked 50' down the street to eat. A bit later the friend looked out and saw that someone was in the jeep so he said, "hey, isn't this steve's jeep". The kid said that it was someone elses and so, since he didn't see us anywhere, our friend went back inside to work. We returned to the jeep a bit later and quickly realized what had happened. I started it up to leave and, being that the power wire for the now nonexistent radion was shorted out inside, melted all the wires together that went to the positive battery terminal. After a quick "farmer fix" another friend accompanied me to our favorite electrician and he had it all fixed up before lunch.
On a side note, when I bought the jeep the ignition was so worn that any key in the world would start it. It was on my list of things to fix until a couple weeks ago a friend came to work and said that he had a dream that the jeep was stolen. Within a couple days I went and had the ignition replaced. What would have happened if I had not had it replaced? Who knows, but I firmly believe that God speaks to us in many different ways.

The Lord bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you and give you peace."

Unknown destination

Every time that I reread "the faith chapter" (Hebrews 11) I am struck by the incredible faith represented in each of their lives.
I am excited, as I look ahead to the next chapter of our lives, to see where God is going to take us. It appears, at this point, that the physical location will be back in PA, but I am more interested in where He is going to take us spiritually. What opportunities are we going to have to minister to the poor, the needy, the widows, the orphans, etc? I find a tremendous in knowing that if we follow him wherever He leads we cannot possibly go wrong.

Fear

I realize it has been a long time since I have written anything, but this does not mean that God has not been doing anything in my life! Actually there have been a number of things going on, and I simply have not had the energy to try to put my thoughts together in coherent sentences.

God has been showing me recently how much of a problem fear is in my life. I have, for as long as I can remember, had trouble speaking up, making phone calls, going new places, meeting new people, etc. Recently we were listening to a tape of a message that we had heard a number of years back regarding "the Father's love". I was struck particularly by the verse from 1 John 4 that says, "Perfect love drives out all fear". In other words if I am comfortable with the Father's love I will not have any fear. If I know who I am in the Father, and realize deep in my heart, that He has made me just the way He wanted, and that He loves me just the way He has made me, I will not be bound by fear of man. I think I lay awake for a good part of that night repeating that verse over and over again, and basking in the peace and freedom that I felt with the realization that I do not need to live in fear of what others may think of me.
I am glad to say that since that night, a few weeks ago, I have been able to step out and do some things that I would have struggled to do before, and as I take those steps I enjoy an even greater release from fear.
I want to challenge you to honestly analyze your life to see whether fear may be keeping you from not only doing things that enjoy, but more importantly, keeping you from being obedient to God. Fight against that fear. Do not accept it! It is not from God! HE LOVES YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Why should you fear what ANYONE may think.

Blessings and Peace

Kingdoms

Here in Nicaragua there is always some kind of real news happening, often involving the government, that probably does not get any coverage outside of this country. Honduras has made the international news recently with its political machinations, but what has been going on here is probably just as newsworthy.
Thinking about this, and whether it was worthwhile writing about some of these things so that family and friends in other parts of the world could be informed, I was struck by the thought that all of the kingdoms of this world are the same. They (politicians) are all in it for the power and the glory. Even if they enter the political arena with pure ambitions they soon give in to greed, corruption, and the lust for more power.
From the, now-deposed, would-be dictator in Honduras, to the current president/dictator her in Nicaragua, and even to our own infanticide-supporting president of the USA, none of them is really interested in justice.
Why did Jesus say that His kingdom is not of this world? He had little interest in what the earthly kingdoms were doing. He was, and still is, more interested in establishing a heavenly kingdom.
What should this tell us? The church should not be spending its time trying to build righteous earthly kingdoms, but rather focus its energy on the heavenly kingdom. Rather than attending political rallies and protests, and arguing over whether a pro-war president is better than a baby-killing president; we should be proclaiming Jesus Christ and His kingdom. And, yes, He did command us to pray for our leaders!

Update from life

As you have probably noticed, I have not written anything in quite some time. Obviously, this is not because nothing has been happening in our lives. I have been up to my eyeballs in work for the past few weeks and, of course, the boys keep me hopping when I am at home.
Anyhow, I wanted to share a bit of some of the things that God has been lately. As I shared some time ago, we have decided not to return to the church that we had been attending previously. Not really relishing the prospect of looking for a new church home, we had been putting it off. Finally, this past Sunday my wonderful wife encouraged me that we should stop making excuses and go to the morning service of a church down the street. I had to admit to myself that all of the "good" reasons that I had for not going were really just excuses. So we went, and wow did it feel good to be back in a gathering of fellow believers to worship together and hear the Word. We (actually Colleen) noticed that, contrary to the norm in the churches here, there were quite a few couples and men in the church. Additionally, we enjoyed the message about the importance of being purposeful about the spiritual instruction of our children. Overall, we enjoyed the experience and will definitely return to the church.
I would like to share a bit more about the theme of marriages and families. We can see that the enemy loves to attack marriages and families. In our own lives he has been hard at work as well. I would like to say that he is never successful in his schemes, but that would not be true. However, I am happy to say that in the past weeks Our Loving Father has been at work revealing the lies of the enemy and restoring brokenness.
Our devotional for this morning was based on Psalm 50:21 "These things you have done and I kept silence; you thought I was just like you." The writer of the devotional challenges the readers to speak up in the face of sin because if we do not everyone will think that we approve of the behavior. At the end he asks if there is something that we could do to influence our sphere for Christ. Our answer was that we should support marriages and families. It is apparent that the church (universal) is not doing a good job of encouraging, admonishing, and supporting couples. Why else is divorce just as prevalent within the church as it is outside?
As I was working with a few fellows this week we were talking and in conversation the one Christian brother asked me a question that underscored the magnitude of the battle in this particular culture. "So, honestly, how many years have you been faithful to your wife?" Thankfully, by the grace of God I am able to answer that I have been faithful for the entire 9+ years that we have been married. How sad, that this seemed to surprise them. The enemy is hard at work here in that area and the strongholds are monumental. I believe that this is an area that the church needs to attack through prayer, more prayer, and more prayer.

Sorry for the rambling. I did not have my thoughts together very well.
One closing thought: If we really believe that God hears our prayers why do we not spend more time praying?

Pride and the Lord's Correction

Sundays are usually the busiest days for beggars coming to the door asking for food. This past Sunday was no different. In the morning one boy came and in the afternoon a boy of about 10 came with his 2 little sisters.

First they asked for food and I was able to give them some leftovers that we had sitting around. As it was raining and a bit chilly, they asked for t-shirts for each of them. And finally they asked for some toys for a little brother at home.

I asked them where they lived and the boy said they lived in a plastic house (which means a tiny shack covered with black plastic). I asked them where their parents were and he replied that they don't have a father and that their mother is sick and doesn't work.

After they left I was congratulating myself on my generosity and just I was to have given them all that stuff. Suddenly the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "But that gallo pinto (beans and rice) that you gave them was not what it could have been. You could have added that bit of cheese that you have. And the bread and cookies were old and you were not going to eat them anyhow. You were never going to wear those 2 t-shirts and the 2 of Zach's were his oldest, most worn t-shirts. The toys were not very nice that you gave. How are you any different than Cain; who did not give an offering that was pleasing to God?"

My self-satisfaction was quickly revealed for what it was, pride rearing it's ugly head. It made me think how much I am like the rich Pharisees who want all to see them put their huge offering in the offering plate.

I thank God that He does not miss an opportunity to teach me more about myself. I am also thankful that He is slow to anger and abounding in love and grace.

Justice and Fasting

If you read my blog last year you know that one of my favorite passages was (and still is) Micah 6:8. "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

I have spent a good bit of time thinking about justice and searching the Word for revelation about what it means to act justly. I still have many questions about what justice really means, but lately another scripture has been on my heart, and I would like to share some of my thoughts.

For many years I have enjoyed some of the passages in Isaiah, but it was not until recently, as I was thinking about the subject of fasting, that I discovered Isaiah 58. In my Bible the chapter is entitled "True Fasting", and the early verses talk about what a fast should not be. I like to begin reading at verse 6, "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?"

Some thoughts and observations:
We are told that this is the kind of fasting that God desires. However, reading on we do not see the "normal" fasting activities of abstinence from eating, and spending all day in prayer. Instead we are told to act with justice, help the needy, and set the oppressed free.
How, I ask myself, is this fasting? Perhaps because it means abstinence from our selfishness and apathy in the face of the needs around us.
In any case, there is something about this passage that speaks to my heart, as though to say, "This is what God wants you to do."

Recently I read a book entitled "A Seasick Doctor", about a doctor on one of the first Mercy Ships. I absolutely loved the book, not because it was an exciting tale, but rather because the calling of the doctor, to work with the poor and downtrodden, resonated with my heart.

I don't know yet what God has in store for us, but I am convinced that wherever He has us, we are called to minister to the poor, the needy, the sick, the orphans, the widows, and the oppressed.

Church difficulties

Being part of an assembled, cohesive body of believers has been an important part of our lives here in Nicaragua. We have, at times, felt fed, supported, challenged, and useful as part of a small Assembly of God church here in Matagalpa. We have had opportunities to contribute financially and serve alongside the members in the various ministries of the church.
Some of my personal growth has come by walking through difficult times with this church. We have seen the departure of two pastors due to corruption and greed. The upheaval during those times was draining, but God used them to show me that my peace cannot be based anywhere but in Him.
Just before we left for the States we began to feel with this third pastor that, as with the other two, there is a spirit of greed and a vision that does not place God above all else. It appears that he is only interested in having a big, beautiful church building, a large congregation, and overflowing coffers. Meanwhile, the hearts and spirits of the people are dying or being crushed by the pastor in his zeal to accomplish his mission of building another church (he has told us often that he has planted and grown at least 13 churches from nothing).
So that is the background. Now fast forward three months and we have returned. What do we do? Our hearts are not in returning to that church, even though our best friends are there. We do not feel that we can support the pastors vision and know that simply by being there we are seen as such.
Providentially, three days ago I took the same bus as a dear friend and brother in the Lord on the return trip from Managua (2 hours away). He is a leader in the church and has gone through much pain and turmoil through all of this. We were able to catch up on many subjects, and as we walked the few blocks from the bus stop to our house I finally found the courage to tell him that I wasn't sure we would be returning to the church. I thought that perhaps he would try to convince me otherwise, but was surprised when he said, "Jesus did not come to build a denomination, but to bring Salvation. It is not necessary to attend the "correct" church, but to worship God wherever we are." (paraphrased translation)
I have spent the last couple days mulling this over and thinking about what the Scriptures say on the subject. Hebrews 10:25 says: "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another...". Why exactly are we told that? So that we can exhort, correct and pray for each other. So if I accept the idea that we need to be part of a body; that leaves two options: return to the old church or find a different one. As much as I do not like looking for a new church home that is probably what we will do.
Please be in prayer that God would direct us in this journey.

Oh, have I mentioned how much I dislike the idea of denominations. Wouldn't it be so great to simply say that I am a member of the body (church) of Jesus Christ!